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Author Topic: Severe separation anxiety  (Read 5503 times)

Offline cece76

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Severe separation anxiety
« on: April 23, 2009, 10:55:46 AM »
I have worked in childcare for the past 8yrs and seen alot of cases of separation anxiety, some mild other severe. But, this case really worries me. I have had this child in my care for 2 weeks now and he still cries all day every day. It is starting to effect the other children badly. The only thing that calm this child down is to be in my arms but I can't have him in my arms all day right? He won't interact with the other children at all and when the other children try to play with him he screams bloody murder. He is only 13mths but I would expect things to get better atleast a little after 2 weeks. I am to the point that I will have to ask the parents to find another provider because it has become too stressful for me and the other kids in my care. Even the other parents have voiced conserns.  Has anyone ever had to refuse care for a child before? This is really giving heartache to have to do this. I guess I just to hear from someone whose been there. :'(

Offline Laura

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Re: Severe separation anxiety
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2009, 06:26:46 PM »
Hi cece76,

First and foremost welcome to the forum and our website.

Some questions that came to my mind while reading your post are:
-how many other children do you care for and what are their ages?
-is this the first child care experience for the 13 month old?
-what methods do the parents use to calm him down at home?

The reasons i ask the above questions is because in my experience, it takes children different methods to get used to a new environment.  I've had children in my care who were much older than your 13 month old who would cry on a daily basis.  Yes it is hard to hold the child, but it will end.  He may feel comfortable and secure in your arms rather than being at the same level as the other children.  Also the age of the other children could play a factor into this.  Are they much older than him? What are their activity levels?  Are they really excited?  I've also had children who are terrified of approaching excited children, regardless of their age. 

If this is the 13 month old's first child care experience, i would suggest you stick with it for another little bit.  Things will change.  It is really hard for a child to adjust to a new environment, as well as new people.  Did you do a transition to child care for the family or did the parents just drop him off on day 1?

Keep us know how things are going and GOOD LUCK

Offline cece76

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Re: Severe separation anxiety
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2009, 09:15:48 PM »
Thank you for replying to my post. I will answer your questions before I post anything more.

-The other children in my care are around the same age: my son who is 15mths and another boy who is 14mths
-Yes I did do a gradual transition. Mom came with him on 2 occassions for about 1 hour and then he came for 2 visits for about 1 hour apart from that. He was ok during the visits.
-As for calming him they told me he had no comforts except for putting him to bed with a bottle which is a BIG no no for me.
- And yes this is his forst childcare experience

Well I stuck it threw for 4 weeks and could not do it anymore. His separation anxiety did not get better, it got worse. I could barely get him to nap anymore. I got really worried because it wasn't just the separation anxiety anymore there were markers that were pointing to something else. See he is terrified for any sudden noises(big red flag for autism), he seemed limp to me not having the muscle tone a child his age should have and their were other warning signs that something was not right. So, I decided to do the Nippissing developmental screen. Well I did the screen and discussed my worries with with mom. I don't have to say what happened next because he is no longer in my care. I think I did everything I could for him and I hope mom takes the screen seriously and follows through with her doctor. I feel really bad but theirs nothing more I could have done. This situation has given me a gutwrench for to long and also the parents of the other child that I am caring for were getting really concerned because their child was becoming miserable being exposed to another childs crying ALL DAY! I could not risk losing the child who had adjusted well to my program to the child who wasn't.

Thanks again for responding to my post.


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